Depression; what can I do?

The best advice I can think to offer is to forgive the people who have hurt you so that they don't hold this power over you anymore. Whenever we are not at peace in our lives we need to look around and see who we can forgive. You will notice that to do this you have to work through your issues individually, but it will be such a weight off your shoulders. Only you have control over your life and by blaming other people you are forfeiting that control. Also if you want to help yourself you should speak with a professional, your life is precious and it is the only one you will have, please, please find a way to realize that. I wish you all the best I really do.